Mumbai. A city that dazzles, surprises, fascinates... And disgusts. Usually, all at once. This post however, will attempt to do none of the above. Though it will make an earnest effort to capture some ideas (read ramblings) on the author's city of residence for the past 6 months, Mumbai. Lets just call it part 1 of n, for algebraic convenience.
One thing about his adopted city totally captured the fascination of the author. It wasn't the night life, not the Plutarch display of opulence of the city's affluent, or its antithetical squalor with which it co-existed, or its incredibly efficient local train system. It was, in fact, the city's overpowering obsession with traffic and roads.
Seriously, this actually beats the British and weather paradigm by light years. Young couples, as they cootchie-coo on Marine drive, discuss the traffic jams. Top executives begin board meetings with ways to beat the traffic on their way home from Nariman Point. Future Sachin Tendulkars and Vinod Kamblis exchange notes on the traffic as they steal a quick single in Shivaji Park. And strangers chum with each other on the Virar Fast by discussing the Worli Bandra Sea Link (which for brevity's sake will henceforth be referred to as WBSL). Oh, opportune time for the Worli Bandra Sea Link to make a dramatic entrance in the story. Never in the recorded history of mankind did a city rhapsodize so much. Not Roma with the priceless San Pietro, and certainly not Pisa and its beloved Torre Pendente, as Mumbai did with the WBSL.
"The WBSL is our deliverer from all our woes" remarked a Mumbaikars in earnest. "The WBSL is our panacea, the answer to all our prayers" remarked another localite, who was probably in more need of a exorcism than a flyover. "The WBSL will now truly make Mumbai the center of the universe" remarked another localite with practiced nonchalance. This frequent rhapsodizing about the WBSL made this author very curious about the true nature of this supposed civil engineering wonder.
Earlier this year, this author had to go to Prabhadevi, in an office he was told was superb simply "because it had a view of the WBSL". Nazareth, circa 29 AD couldn't have a more upbeat misc-en-scene about its newly arrived messiah as Mumbai did just now. All along the way, his co-passengers were constantly chanting "WBSL, WBSL" in a manner that would shame the most fervent Hare Krishna member. His curiosity piqued, and by now expecting a giant 18 lane flyover with Bentleys plying on them, with gorgeous cheerleaders cheering them on, the 1st thing he did on descending in front of the office was ask his co-passenger (who we shall call FOTBW), "So where is the WBSL?".
FOTBW raised her little finger and pointed towards a construction crane in the sea, where it was unglamorously flanked by 4 half complete concrete pillars. It was from a scene not out of place in modern day Beirut. 4 half complete pillars and a seemingly abandoned construction crane. THAT is the WBSL. THAT IS ALL the WBSL is about! At least for now.
The author wasted no efforts to ridicule the hype that went about this WBSL thing for the next few months. But it seemed that the God poetic justice had a sense of humour. Or maybe he was from Mumbai. Come October, he had to shift offices, and guess where his new office was. Yes, in fact it was facing the very same WBSL he always ridiculed, which by now had grown from 4 half built pillars to 8 half built pillars, and continued receiving paeans like never before. Like Coleridge's albatross, it always raises its ugly head where I can see it and like the rising sun in Japan, its always there to see, whether or not you like it.
Apparently, he is not the only one. A half-commie, half-naxal friend of his, also had a misfortune of having an office facing this "wonder of man-made creation". Apparently, in her line of work (related to infrastructure), people are sent to this office as a punishment to remind them of the lousy job infra is doing in the country. To add insult to injury, one also has to witness devotees of the WBSL with their teary-eyed "Oh WBSL, WBSL, save me".
C'est la vie.
PS: All cities, flyovers and people mentioned in the story are real. Everything else is grossly exaggerated.
5 comments:
It taketh a WBSL to inspire such transcendent prose. Hail WBSL. Hail Mumbai.
WBSL is nothing in front of Hebbal Flyover. In fact, it is to the north of it.
Thanks fotbw. Eh, thanks "pa" too.
Come to think of it, who is pa?
(If I had to ask that in Bahasa Indonesia, it would be 'siapa pa?", which makes for a nice rhyming effect). But back to more pressing issues, is 'pa' the latter 2/5th of your surname?
Loved this post. My 4 day tryst with Mumbai in November (I had made a few visits before never bothered to think)had me making 2 observations -
Big buildings (be it Swanky office buildings or 30 floor Lower Middle Class 'Apartments/ Flats').Really, I felt like a guy from Mayavaram or Bheemavaram visiting the big cities - "The so called metros".
So many People - It is like a packed Eden Gardens rushing out in response to a fire alarm - all the time.
And they disguise the utter inability of the city to cope up with its population and the "K to expecting Infra Development, I need to earn bread!" attitude of the common man with statements like "Mumbai is a city with fighting spirit. Nothing can daunt Mumbai"
Respect to all the Mumbaikars!
Strong observations, K.
As we would say, TIN Mumbai spirit OTM!
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