A day in the life...

You wouldn't think on seeing this innocuous picture just how many pop culture fires this zebra crossing stoked.

Its a rainy day as we speak, much like the day I waited in the lashing rain to get this picture without million Patel tourists on it. Though the drivers there were much kinder than those whose paths I crossed today, even if they have to drive their way past the most crossed zebra crossing in the world. Just thought I'd say.

As I said, its a rainy day

The hunter and the hunted

They call it house hunting. Note, they don't use an innocuous verb like searching or house finding, or something equally mundane, but "house hunting". And believe me its not a coincidence that the verb for finding a house is the same as the most primeval of all occupations (Note: contrary to popular perception, prostitution is NOT the most ancient occupations, except in Amsterdam). And "hunting" has that raw, wild feel to it too. Which is exactly what house hunting is all about.

Anyone who has read Maximum City by Suketu Mehta will know about how the real estate business in Mumbai and the underworld are intrinsically linked. Try house hunting with the feeling that the guy showing you around the house is probably linked to D in lesser degrees of separation than I am to Ratan Tata, and try feeling comfortable about the whole act.

Then there is the bargaining. I am the second worse bargainer in the world after Johny Bravo, I realize. I have to mentally remind myself whether I have to revise the estimate upwards or downwards before opening my trap. (Note: The last two statements aren't really true).

And then there are the prices. Come to think of it, the only other time in my life I did any sort of house hunting was earlier this year for the short stay in London. Why does it have to be that my first two experiences with house hunting had to be with the two most expensive cities (real estate wise) in the world. This is like a number 11 batsman making his test debut on the 5th day of a test in Antigua facing Marshall and Garner. What next I wonder- house hunting in Tokyo and New York? I deserve a home series against Bangladesh to raise my batting average. For now, its just Krakozia's GDP on a little warren in Mahim West I guess.

Only lawyers itself can globe more than MBAs it seems. I am talking, of course, about the company lease format. It is enough to scare any law abiding citizen off. And much more than enough to scare a "non abiding" citizen (or whatever the antonym of abiding). Honestly, I wouldn't give myself a house on lease with that 20 page tome which masquerades as a "company lease agreement".

And oh, did I mention- I did most of my house hunting in this weather.

And oh oh, did I mention that I am still homeless. Little wonder.

PS: Is house hunting this painful in any city ?

Audio guides: A testimonial

I am a big fan of audio guides. Exchange wouldn't have quite been the same without audio guides in museums.

There are so many obvious advantages of audio guides. They explain the context like no guide book ever ca. You choose the pace of your trip, and you choose what you want to see/hear. And above all, all language barriers are broken thanks to that little hand held device. And above above all, the little device in your ear shuts out the very superfluous and multilingual (and often very loud) chatter that most tourists around you seem to love indulging in.

Strangely the only place in India I have seen offer audio guides (The Prince of Wales museum in Mumbai) only lets foreigners rent them, even though they are available in English and Hindi. Audio guides were also available over mobile phone for old streets of Bandra during the Bandra festival last year, but only for Vodafone customers.

But audio guides come with their disadvantages.
Audio guide writers have to tread a fine line between pandering to the average package tourist (the kind who make a beeline to the Mona Lisa in the Musée du Louvre, take Patel shots and then leave immediately) and catering to the hardcore art enthusiasts (the kind who actually understand what 'chiaroscuro' means, and can use it correctly in a sentence). It'd be nearly impossible to find a guide catering to both ends of that spectrum

Anyways, the whole point of this post was to point out two places I recently visited which easily had the best audio guides I have encountered (so far).

One was at the Beatles experience in Liverpool. Now the Beatles experience is not an 'official' Beatles museum by any means, even if it is the world's largest collection of Beatles related memorabilia under a single roof. But its audio guide itself does enough to stake a very genuine claim to being the Beatles experience.

For one, the initial part of the audio guide (covering their childhood and Quarrymen days) is mainly narrated by John Lennon's half sister, Julia. Also featuring on the audio guide is Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Sir George Martin, recordings of Brian Epstein speaking, and a host of other Beatles related personalities. An audio guide with George Martin reminiscing about the Abbey Road sessions while you stare at an exhibit of recording equipment from Abbey Road studios, gives it a kind of legitimacy which other audio guides can never replicate. More than enough to leave Beatles fans drooling.

The other audio guide which merits a mention here is the one at the Roman baths in Bath. The brilliance of this one is that it has three parallel lines of narration (in English itself).

One is your typical serious narrative which dwells on the historic and artistic aspects of the surroundings. Very technical and educational. The second channel, which is narrated by Bill Bryson, in true Brysonesque style, somewhat on the lighter side, focusing on his personal observations rather than the historic significance. Very 'out of syllabus'. The last channel is designed specifically for kids, and weaves a fascinating story with Roman characters, legions etc, instead of just a factual or descriptive guide. Very cool

Given the rate at which Lonely Planet is diversifying into downloadable audio guides, apparently I am not the only one who thinks they are a really cool concept

Theatre of Dreams

Prologue: Admittedly, its been over 10 days since returning from Britannia, but some blog worthy topics still remain to get out of the way. Over to the real post now.

Real post: I had never been inside any sporting venue, not counting the streets of Monaco as a sports venue (yes the very same venue where cops felt the overwhelming need to play a hand in aiding the war on "global terror") till 14th June, 2008. Though I did pay my respects to San Siro, Parc des Princes, Santiago Bernabeu, Olympic Munich among many others from the outside. Just as well, that Old Trafford had to be the one to break the duck.

As always, I shall briefly digress. Three years back, if you (yes, that means you) told me that I would visit both Old Trafford and Strawberry Fields by the tender young age of 25, I'd have thought you'd gone as mad as a sea bass with goiter. Thats why its somewhat overwhelming that I actually visited both within 24 hours of each other. Admittedly, I still haven't gotten over that weekend, which explains this belated post.

So, back to Old Trafford. I had no idea that a stadium visit would actually let you see so much. At best, I was expecting a slap dash visit to the stands and back, but no, it was far more.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words, let me elaborate.

You can sit in the stands.
and ogle at the Stretford End.

You are taken to the home team's dressing room. In fact, even to the player's lounge, which is the only part of Old Trafford where Sir Alex is forbidden from entering (and yes, you can go there)

Run down the tunnel...

...into the pitch

and to the trophy room.

Other highlights which aren't represented photographically are
The player's bench (with seated heats)- apparently since Diego Forlan couldn't tolerate the Manchester weather. Given how much time Señor Forlan spent on the bench, I don't particularly blame him.
The Munich tunnel and clock. A whole lot of visuals in various Bangalore quizzes (a lot of which I myself am guilty of unleashing on the quizzing public) over the years have now been added to the "I've seen the original"* category.
The Red Cafe: Which incidentally is run by a bunch of Tams. Lancashire Tams at that, not the Chennai variety. That basically means names like Periasami, Shanemougamanathane but sporting accents more suited to a Collingwood or Sidebottom.
Quite hilarious. **

*: Copyright for that can be claimed by Kodhi.
**: If ever you encounter a guy named Venkatesh saying "Hey Senthil ol' chap, could you please be so kind as to get the fine young gentleman in table 14 a pint of Heineken" in a Cockney accent, try and not find it hilarious.